The Awakened Woman’s Guide to Personal Divestment

Now, say these words aloud:

• Conscious Decision
• Accountability
• Enhance
• Advance
• Best Interest
• Alignment Divestment Journey

  Note how these words are all personal to YOU and YOUR ability to grow and transform. These words place the responsibility to rise to the next level of your growth squarely upon your shoulders. They center your focus on your behavior and not that of others. These words are indicative of a divestment awakening.

How Does Divestment benefit me as an Awakened woman?

How Does Divestment benefit me as an Awakened woman?

• You hold yourself accountable
• You make better decisions for your life because they now come from an informed place and not a ‘scared’ one
• Higher confidence level
• Greater sense of self
• Refusal to remain where you are not honored or respected
• A desire to ensure you are creating the greatest version of yourself
• Reduced tolerance level for things that no longer align with your best interests
• More intentional with your time
• You will speak your mind with less hesitancy or fear of angering those to whom you speak
• Your circle opens up to people on a similar path
• You say yes to yourself more than before
• You accept people for who they are
• You waste less of your time remaining in non-productive relationships
• You seek mutualism within your relationships
• You practice gratitude for where you are
• You dress better because you feel better
• You want to see other women living their best life
• You say no to people and things that aren’t aligned with your walk
• Your dating life becomes more specific than it has ever been
• You follow your instinct more
• You focus more on your areas of improvement than that of others
• You adopt ‘The sky is the limit’ attitude
• Your circle shrinks
• You believe what you see
• You do more listening and less talking

Toxic is defined as: Acting as or having the effect of a poison; poisonous person. If you’re here, that means you realized there are areas of your life that need to change. And by change, I mean improve. Perhaps you were reared with some ideas and views that would best be left in the past along with the tribe members who still hold fast to them. Let’s talk about how you can tell if someone in your life is toxic.

More than likely, when I mentioned the word ‘toxic’, there was a person who immediately came to mind. This person entered your brain because somewhere along the way, you had one or more experiences with them that left a negative impression upon you.

Maybe she’s negative. Perhaps she’s always experiencing some unnecessary drama. She could be the person who hasn’t lived up to her potential and as a result she begrudges others their personal successes. We’d be here all day if we attempted to list the multitude of reasons people can be deemed as toxic.

Do not engage in an argument. If she disagrees with what you’re saying to her, remain focused on the facts, not her emotionally driven responses. If she escalates during the conversation, you must remain even-tempered. You are driving where this relationship is going next which means you are in control. People who are in control don’t need to yell and become defensive. Remember, you are armed with facts, and an exit strategy if needed. If it becomes evident that there will be no resolution, tell her so and politely disengage from the conversation and move to exercise nine.

You’re going to have friends and perhaps family members curious over why you and (insert name here), are no longer friends. Your standard response should be some variation of the following: “Life moves us in different places, I wish her success in finding hers.” Or you can offer, “Growth requires change”. Under no circumstances should you discuss the conversation and subsequent ending of the relationship with mutual friends or acquaintances. To do so places your integrity in jeopardy. You are seeking self, divestment, and a closer relationship to a positive lifestyle. Speaking negatively about a person with whom you were once close makes you look hypocritical.

Most cultures have some version of the ‘family is the most important thing’. For the most part, I can agree with this. But let’s delve deeper into the traditional meaning of the word ‘family’. Family is defined as 1. A group of one or more parents and their children living together as a unit. 2. All the descendants of a common ancestor. Understanding this definition is important in how we begin to navigate those with whom we have a shared history. If you feel this meaning reads from a ‘matter of fact’ perspective, you are correct. It is void of the emotionalism or sentimentality we tend to attach to our family unit. I’d like to go a bit deeper here for the definition as it will aid us as we move forward under this heading. For our purpose, we define family as: A collective of people who celebrate and support each other’s success, love one another in word and deed, respect each other’s desires and boundaries.

In other words, blood ties do not a family make. This qualifies you as a relative.

Many of us have had the misfortune of growing up surrounded by relatives. The problem is there is hardly a distinction made between family and relatives. Which means we are expected to treat those ‘relatives’ with the same love, respect and consideration as we do those family members. Awakened women, that stops today!

Allowing relatives, the same access to you as family members is a surefire way to sabotage yourself and your divestment journey. Listen to me: THEY ARE NEVER GOING TO SUPPORT YOU! Accept this fact as it will make the next steps of your journey so that much easier.

In other words: Brag on YOURSELF! You not only survived the person who attempted to destroy you, but you are thriving. And truth be told, you’re probably living a more fulfilling life than they could dare dream of living. Brag on yourself in this portion and hold nothing back.

 This will be an emotional exercise. It will require you to become vulnerable and painfully honest about your experience with those relatives listed in Exercise eleven. You will weep, feel angry, sad, mayhap resentful, and regretful. Good. Allow whatever emotion to be. Try not to judge what you feel as you complete this exercise.

When you consider removing toxic relationships from your life, you are happier. I know this sounds too simple to work but it’s true. Think about the people with whom you spend time, this can be over the phone, via email, or in person. Different relationships illicit different emotions. How do you feel when you’re in the presence of that happy-go-lucky friend who always offers a positive spin on things? She’s the one you phone or with whom you have lunch when the world seems too much.

Now think of the friend who lives in turmoil. There’s always some form of conflict occurring in her life. Always a spot of bad news to report. She can never land in a better career, relationship, or residential location. Tell me how you feel after speaking with her. Do you see the difference?

Before you reach the place of happiness, you are going to feel alone. There will be moments of doubt and periods of second guessing yourself. This is normal. You will move past this.

As you explore who you are, who you were, and where you are going next, you will start to feel a sense of relief and excitement. A year into your journey, you will look back at the dodged bullets and booby traps sent to ensnare you and you will breathe a sigh of relief